Don't Judge, You Judger

I was standing in line... at The McDonalds (I emphasize the "The" when I say it, so you should read it that way). Ahead of me in line was a woman holding a squirming baby. The baby was maybe 8 months. I'm a bad judge of these things. Old enough to have some hair and the ability to hold his head upright. Young enough to not be standing.

The baby stares me down. I do what I always do, which is cycle through a series of faces. I can't not make scary faces at babies. I'm a sucker for that. The baby is absolutely fascinated. It is sitting still. The mother suspects that perhaps something is up. She turns around so the baby can't see me anymore.

I give her the most beatific smile I can manage. There is nothing to see here, lady.

Her turning around makes the baby pissed, though. Since the baby can no longer see me, it starts pulling on her hair. The lady rhythmically chants, "Stop hurting mommy. Let go of mommy's hair."

She faces the registers again and baby has me in full view. I give the baby a stare-down and shake my head disapprovingly. Baby stops pulling mothers hair.

I wish I could deal with adults as well as I can deal with babies.


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