Making A Non-Scene

The setting: Ruby Tuesday

Just so you know, I didn't particularly want to go to this restaurant. I have standards. I consider Ruby Tuesday to be an increasingly interchangeable establishment, which I lump with Applebees and Chili's. They're probably all owned by the same people. I don't have the interest to even look this up on the Internet.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way.

Some friends and I are eating. One of the guys starts coughing a little bit. He drank a sip of water wrong. It was seriously minimal coughing.

"BREATHE!" I command.

Then I open-palm pound him on the chest. It sounds much harder than I am actually hitting him. There's this nice loud thumping noise every time I hit him. I say BREATHE a few more times. His chest is basically my drum. He's laughing and smiling.

No one in Ruby Tuesdays even looks in our direction. I thought it was weird.